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5th February 2008 : 01.40
A really quick update as it’s very late!
Su had her first chemo treatment today and all went well.
As soon as she was hooked up to the pump, she became extremely tired as the drug began its journey around her bloodstream. She slept all the way back home and spent the evening in bed.
And now, for me, it’s back to the role of carer. It sounds odd, but I actually enjoy it a bit.
When you say your marriage vows, the old “in sickness and in health” bit, you don’t really know how fulfilling it actually is to look after your husband or wife. It makes you realise the very reason you’re with them; to protect them, look after them, mop their brow, bath them.
To me, the very definition of ‘love’.
I’ve had a lot of messages in the last few days saying things like “you make sure you look after yourself in all this” and it’s very sweet for so many of you to say so.
But it’s one’s duty to look after one’s partner and it’s something I would feel unhappy watching anyone else doing!
I get unreasonably protective over Su in times like this and feel sure it’s only me who can attend to her needs and make her feel comfortable!
Oh well. An overbearing husband- I can’t be the first!
Night night- check back for more info soon.
28th January 2008 : 22.30
Where have we been? Up to London to see the Queen?
Of course not. We’ve been having a fantastic time, enjoying life, spending time with our families, visiting places etc.
But all good things must come to an end.
Today was a sharp reality check; a reminder that the monster never really went away, it merely roared in a softer tone and the altogether louder sounds of fun and laughter were drowning it out.
Su seems to have taken the news fairly well, although she’s very good at hiding her feelings.
We were going to be asking for more chemotherapy anyway, as Su has been in so much pain recently. Since she gave up work, she’s been taking morphine and the dosage has steadily increased over time. She began in September taking around 20mg per day. Today she is taking over 140mg per day in both tablet and liquid form. This excessive amount is resulting in regular nausea, huge amounts of sleep and has also meant that Su is unfit to drive so she has become effectively housebound.
I’m pleased she’d going to be having more chemo as it will hopefully mean she can lower her morphine intake. However, the news that the cancer has spread yet again is a huge blow.
But while these are difficult days and upsetting times, Su has had eighteen months without treatment and those eighteen months were ones I thought she’d never have.
So on Thursday we begin the whole circus again. PICC line, pump (etiquette does not permit me to write what Su calls it) and weekly visits to Yeovil hospital. No home treatment this time, that’s reserved for those who can afford to pay the corporates their thirty pieces of silver.
Now we’re back on the wagon again, I’ll keep a regular update on things. Pop back on Thursday or Friday to see how the first treatment went.
Anyone getting deja-vu? I know I am! That said, deja-vu is a luxury most cancer sufferers never get to experience.
We remain the lucky ones.
25th July 2007 : 02.20
Just a quick bit- a thank-you to the lovely Babs and Paula for a nice chat this evening- they know who they are!
Sorry the updates haven’t been appearing- keep checking in the next few days and one will appear, I promise!
15th April 2007 : 20.00
We had an absolutely wonderful wedding. A day of laughter, relief, emotion and smiles - so many smiles that my face ached the following day!
Then onto Port Isaac for three fabulously sunny and relaxing days.
I still can’t get used to wearing a ring. It feels utterly bizarre, like I’ve got a 2p coin stuck between my fingers. It’s also a bit weird getting it all gooey when I gel my hair. Still, it’s beginning to feel odd when I take it off, so perhaps I’m slowly becoming attuned to it.
Now back to normality! The tumour in Su’s colon has been causing a lot of discomfort and so she will be undergoing five sessions of targeted radiotherapy. She was due to begin the treatment last Wednesday but thanks to the wonderfully inept NHS, the Bristol Oncology Centre couldn’t connect to Taunton Hospital’s computer to get Su’s scans. Amazing. I’ve got people all over the world reading this now, but Bristol can’t get one high resolution image up 40 miles of copper wire.
So we’re waiting for the first treatment. Su’s been marked with a few Xs to show where things should be attached. Plus she’s been given a permanent tattoo showing the exact spot of the colon tumour. It’s only a little red dot - it’s not like a huge eagle or a rose on her buttock or suchlike.
I’ll be getting in touch with Tommy’s Bennett’s mum, Tracey, at some point this week to see how they are. It’s now been a month since poor Tommy passed away and things were still incredibly difficult for them when I was last in touch.
We haven’t got our ‘proper’ wedding photos yet, but as soon as they arrive I’ll be putting some on this site. Also, I’ll put a very quick update about Su’s radiotherapy when it eventually starts!
Lots of love from ‘married man’ Dave.
x x x x x
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